Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Mama....I wish you were here to Listen to ME



I first heard about Listen To Your Mother Show while residing in Austin.  The focus of the show is about Mothering and Motherhood...but your personal true story.  I am known to be able to tell a good story...but this was on a stage. in front of lots of strangers.  Could I do that?  without panicking?  I've conducted training in front of a few hundred folks...so it's not that. It's bearing your soul and being open in front of strangers.  Most people think they know me.  They think that I'm just this goofy gal who is one big ongoing party Extrovert.  But what they don't know is there is alot of depth to me.  I'm sorta like that duck looking calm on top of the water while underneath the water paddling madly and furiously.

I watched some of the YouTube shows and knew that I wanted to audition but I just wasn't sure what my story would be. It would take me about 4 years later before I worked up the courage and determined my story to tell....but on May 9th, I'll be on stage with 8 others and the two producers of The Show, Jennifer P. Williams and Elaine Alguire who are amazing women!!

I will be remembering my own mother as the show is on Mother's Day weekend...I hope she's Listening to ME
















Sunday, March 08, 2015

What Do You Do With Pain?

Alot of folks think of how life was Before 9-11...how all of our lives changed drastically after that horrific day. It changed me so much that I still took a trip to NYC despite the obstacles. That is ANOTHER Blog Post....

But for the Ellis & Brack Family, our lives changed drastically after 1-19...Odd I just noticed that it is the reversed order of numbers. hmmmm coincidence I know  but after January 19th, 2002(the year AFTER 9-11), my little sister's son was killed in a snow-skiiing accident.  The pain of the loss never goes away but it's What Do You Do With The Pain????  For years, I've seen her and her husband, Dan, suffer. You saw it in their eyes. The girls, Lindsay and Haley, lost their brother...a missing piece of the family.  I recall the first Christmas without Dustin...they left Orange to celebrate with dear close friends in the Hill Country. I followed.  It's been 13 years since then....and each year, our family dreaded the holidays and January. It seemed like a cloud hanging over...But this past January a little package of JOY came spelled J.E.O.: Jack Easton O'Quinn.  Something Darla and Dan has needed and our family has needed.

But Today is Dustin's 25th Birthday...Darla posted the below picture on her Facebook page
What I see is Dustin's heart and all those he touched. Darla is in New Orleans this weekend celebrating Dustin's birthday. She went to a Toby Mac concert (this was one of Dustin's FAV Christian singers)...and this morning she announced she is starting a non-profit, Living For the Line, in honor of Dustin. The pain is still there but this is going to be an avenue that Darla can use to reach so many hurting people...something Dustin was so good at, even as a little kid of 11.  Pain, hurt, grief and anger are considered Negative in most lives....but all of those negative emotions and feelings can be channeled into something Positive....its OUR Choice. I didn't say it was Easy....but it is still OUR CHOICE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 25TH DUSTIN!!!!

So I challenge you out there when tragedy and maybe just smaller hurts and pain comes our way, What Will YOU do with The Pain???  

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Listen To Your Mother Show - Beaumont

WELL....I've been watching and thinking about this show for a few years and wanting to audition so many times but I chickened out...yah ME chickened out.  This Year I auditioned on Saturday and if I get selected I'll be on the stage in Beaumont at Lamar University telling MY Story of Motherhood. Which one you ask??? Well, you'll have to wait and see if I get selected.  But when I heard about this show...I laughed because I had gotten this under the cap of a tea drink.....and it was at a time I probably should have listened to her.
  She's gone in body but not in spirit...Juanita is here with me.  I know I've left you all hanging waiting for my next post HAHAHAHA!!  But I promise that Donna Gail is BACK. She WILL Deliver....if your Mother is alive...Go Call  or SEE HER!!!!!   and Listen...cos she just might have something Very Important to Say.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Its SuperBeards

Hey NEW YORK Yankees....LOOK UP in the SKY...its a plane No ITs a Bird...NO ITS the 2013 AL EAST CHAMPS...the Red Sox

While everyone else has been feverishly watching the games all season via internet or tv...I've had to do spot checks seeing as I have been living as a gypsy and unemployed...so it's sorta sad I couldn't watch it all game by game. Yeah I got to attend some games here in Texas but no Fenway this year sadly :(  

But it started off with one beard...then more and more...we look like the Amish Mafia baseball team but we swing and run like any typical World Series team should.  I've been MIA due to just not feeling it but now...we won the EAST BABY...I'm rising up out of this depression and the Sox are going to lead us into Sweet Soxtober...all the way to the Ring.


Monday, February 11, 2013

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

See You Again

I can't really write about it right now.  My heart is breaking for her family, her kids, my son.  I'm gonna miss her so much.  In memory of Brittany, I wrote this:

We All Have Our Losses



We all have our losses.
We grieve for them
Cry for them
They haunt us like fog sits over the meadow
Hanging over our soul just out of reach
But close enough to smell and feel
searing into our hearts the wretched pain
leaving it’s smoking brand buried into the flesh.
A constant reminder of past lapses in judgment
embedded in our skin screaming to us to remember.
I’ve seen the waves of grief in eyes.  Smelled
the stench of agony in the air.  Felt the sting
and aches of pain in a heart.
Losses, we all have them yet
If on a different plane we take ourselves there
It can find you above it.
The clearness. The fog shifts.
The blurry visions we came to know as reality
Are now gone.  The damage was done.
But now.  Peering across gentle waves
the limpid air has a pure fragrance.
Then we see.  We know.
We haven’t lost them
but found ourselves


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Pushing Through

I used to love the holidays. Shopping for the just the right gift for those I loved...looking at lights and having holiday gatherings....I used to love the holidays... When tragedy and loss wasn't such a part of my life. As I grow older, tragedy and loss seems to have engulfed my life and soul so much that when I see the twinkling lights and sweet songs on the radio, I cringe and grit my teeth.  I was finally making my way through that muddled thought process this year with  being very anxious that I was finally in a position to do something for those less fortunate....when the plush flying rug under me was yanked and left me in a free-falling stage that I'm still reeling from.
I keep reaching out to the rotten air I smell to grab onto something stable that will hold me up...that will catch me and stop this rollercoasting mind and brain. But all I do is feel nothing. I see nothing. Nothing but grey mists and musty air. That is until the recent shooting occurred. 

I'm sitting waiting this morning on my dear two sweet sisters who are driving up to SA to help me finish pack up my things and put them into storage.  It's not a happy day to me...and it's just as dreary and grey outside as I am inside. But I'm going to try and just be this gypsy and see where it takes me down my road of adventure. I used to  be one of adventure and not caring about where I was headed....but after turning 50, I'd like alittle stability in my life and was hoping San Antonio was going to bring that.  BUT maybe this is going to force that gypsy hidden down inside to pop back up to show me life's true meaning....the unconditional love of friends and family.  I've had so many offer their homes to me....so it's ironic that my first job interview was with a Homeless Shelter....I almost asked if the position included room and board since the salary was not going to be enough for me to rent my own place. 

I've not been here in a year....the death of my mother left me quite devastated and drained and hopeless....but today, I realize that I have nothing but time on my hands which I need to stir up my creative juices and writing again.  That is one thing that helped me though so much.  So I know I lost alot of my readers and hopefully they'll return. 

The thing is...home is wherever I am....and I am going to be wherever love is.