Saturday, September 03, 2011

Love in Action

My dear sweet mother is dying right before our eyes.  Since getting the news, it's been a roller coaster of emotions.  You go through denial and anger then denial again then anger once again then frustration...but with her health going downhill rapidly this past week while I was in Austin, I wasn't able to talk more to her.  In a matter of weeks, she's declined in her health but since last Sunday...no words can describe how hard this is to see.  A woman who loves so hard with her heart to be stricken with something so heartless.  I'm trying to make sense of this all as it was not caught in the early stages so we're losing her quickly and I'm not quite ready for her to go.  She has taught me more about loving than anyone I know.  Her heart is as big as Texas...maybe even bigger.  Alot of people talk about being a Christian and living godly but I've always said "Actions speak louder than words"  as well as "Talk is cheap".   My mother didn't have to preach it....she acted on it.  She taught me to reach out and help others, to give everyone the benefit of doubt, and that everyone deserved a second or third or fourth chance.  I believe I chose my career path because of the values that my mother instilled in me.  I know she's proud of me....she told me many times especially this past year.  Before I left for Austin last Sunday as I was telling her goodbye, she reached out for my hand and said "I want to pray for you"  My mom prayed for things to go well on my new job and that it would be good for me.  I'm going to miss her

5 comments:

becks said...

Awwwwwww, sweetie...but your mom will always be with you. My mom has been physically away since 2001, but I feel her with me all the time. I feel her in music, in laughter, and when I look at my sisters and brother. She will be waiting for you to catch up, that's all.

Lots of love....

Maggie said...

I am so sorry you all are going through this. Your mother will always be with you. She lives in your heart and mind. Big Texas sized hugs to you!

Dale said...

Mom's never ever really leave you. They live in your heart and in your memories forever. Hugs to you Tex as you go through this very difficult time.

Ted D said...

I know it's tough, sis. I can't imagine. But just treasure the time you've got with her and all the memories you have.

jcarpenter10 said...

I'm so very sorry to read this Donna. Watching a loved one going through this is so hard. Treasure your time with her, I know you will, and I'm sure she is too. Big hugs to you.