Monday, February 19, 2007

BullShit

Short post tonight as I'll be going into my surgery in the early morning for repair to my thumb. I'd post here what really happened but then the secret would be out. So instead I'll tell you "a story" of how I hurt my thumb.

So I'm sitting at this bar minding my own bees wax and all when this chick comes up to me asking if I got a light for her cig. I tell her no, I don't smoke those nasty things. She took offense to my comment and called me a choice word. I sneered at her and told her "it takes one to know one". Yeah I know, Real Mature(even in my stories, Im a smart ass). So I tell her she could probably light her cig from all the hot air coming out of her mouth. She doesn't like this comment either and begins berating me for my tattoo. WELL....ya know you can call me alot of things but do NOT talk about my tat. That tat was designed with love and care and devotion for 2 of the 3 things I love most, my state and my Sox. (the 3rd is my family) I stood up at this time and it was then I realized she was about a foot taller than I was (which isn't saying much since I'm only 5'2") So I stood on my chair to look her in the eye.

The waitress didn't know what to do cos she was this frail bony frame who looked like she'd seen some gangstah out of L.A. I shoved Mizz NastySmoker into the next table and jumped down from the chair before she could knock it out from underneath me. Well the gals at that table weren't too happy with all this as their precious fruity drinks were spilled all over the floor. So now I had 4 pissed off chicks at me. Then the bouncer came over and said I had to go...which was fine cos I was through drinking anyway. I headed to the door and just for shits and giggles, I shoved one of the fruity drinkers aside. She fell which caused one of the other ones to fall.....well Mr Bouncer wasn't laughing and grabbed me saying he was gonna have to call the POlice. I disagreed with this choice but he declared his Authoritie and held my arm very tight. So with all my texas might with my left hand I sucker punched him...well I tried but my hand hit the door and jammed my thumb.

What? you don't believe me??? you don't think I'd have the nerve?? or that Im not a smartass enough?? Well that story is better than the truth.

10 comments:

John said...

May not be the truth but very entertaining and worryingly plausible:)

Hope the repair work goes OK and you can still hold the drink I'm going to buy you!

Tex said...

thanks john

Ted D said...

LOL Tex! I believe it COULD have happened that way, but somehow I imagine you slamming your desk drawer on it, or coming home with a little " adult beverage" in you and falling down the stairs!

Glad it went well today, and your typing is AWESOME! Keep feeling better.

Tex said...

real story:
Same bar...kaoroke night...drinking a few beverages...at the encouraging of other girls on stage already singing kaoroke...walked up to stage and instead of using the step, i tried to just take a big step...tripped...thumb hit the floor....i jumped right up with the girls breaking into the song (i kid you not) 'I Will Survive!'

Ted D said...

You are one of a kind Texas. The good Lord broke the mold when he made you!

Ted D said...

How long are you gonna let this thumb give you an exscuse not to post a new blog? I'm giving you 10 days Texas: then it's open season!

Hope you are feeling better.

Tex said...

if you had this you'd be laid up too

Ted D said...

I'm just picking Tex. My Mom had surgery for carpel tunnel and I know it's no joke. I hope you feel better soon, and you'll be able to enjoy ST.

Tex said...

ok I am going to try by tomorrow. i cannot use my left thumb at all and it is not easy. takes alot of concentration but now with me off the drugs...at least i can focus

Ted D said...

Tex,

Hows Sunday treating you? Hope the thumb is better.