Friday, January 05, 2007

One More Day...

So if you could pick one more day to re-live again, which day would it be? Would it be the day you got married? Or the day your first child was born? The day you fell in love with your significant other? Would you pick October 27, 2004? Would you pick a day? Or are you happy enough to not want to go back?

I can think of several days I would choose so that I enjoy those joyous feelings again. But the day I think I would choose even over those would be the Wednesday before my nephew was killed. It was January 15th, 2002. My sister's family was to leave early Thursday morning on a flight to Colorado for a church snow skiing trip. My life was on hold at that moment as I had just broke off a 4 yr relationship and moved back home to my parents at age 43. I was going to Austin for a job interview that week. I was supposed to drop by my sister's house to visit with them before they left but an old boyfriend called so I decided to go meet him instead. That old boyfriend ended up being a jerk like he was before.

Sunday while spending the weekend with a friend in Austin, I received a message on my cellphone from one of the local police departments from my hometown to call home. A message I will remember forever. Calling home I received the news that my nephew had been killed in a snow skiiing incident the afternoon before. My sister, her husband and oldest daughter were on their way home. I packed quickly and left. I don't recall the trip home although I drove through Houston.

The next week was long. Dustin was a unique kid. He had already separated himself from others as being an individual. He sought to know God's heart. Dustin sought to do the right thing and encouraged his friends to do the right thing as well. His funeral was attended by hundreds at our home church. Dustin touched the lives of so many. Dustin was my nephew and he was 11 years old but in those short 11 years he lived a life many an adult would be jealous of.

I imagine January 15th many times in my mind; what I would do if I could go back, but I can't. So I move forward and live my life with love, vigor and zest. I live my life with my family. I live my life so that I don't have to wish I could have one more day back.

14 comments:

Ted D said...

Texas, I am so sorry for your loss. And I hope you won't feel guilty: Your nephew sounds like he was wise beyond his years. God does stuff I'll never understand. But that is not the point: HE understands. And I imagine Heaven is a much brighter place with your nephew there. I love my children, and can't imagine them gone from here. But I know this: in Heaven, those we have lost are SO much better off than we are. No crying, no sadness, no wars or terrorism. And no memory of those left behind. God Bless you tonight, and God Bless your sister and family. You have all suffered a loss that can't be measured: be secure in knowing your nephew is wrapped in the arms of God tonight.

Tex said...

Thanks Ted. It is the 5 yr anniversary of his death this month. My sis' family are still so affected by this. They still have 2 girls but Dustin was my brother in laws right hand man at church. My brother in law is the Children Church Pastor. I don't know how they do it.

Ted D said...

Tex, only God knows how they can go on. All i know is, your nephew is with God. And that is all I need to know. My thoughts and prayers with you and your sister's family this month.

Tex said...

thanks Ted. It really means alot.

Ted D said...

Tex,

I wanted to tell you thanks for the kind words you wrote me at my blog today. I don't think I'm all that good, but I enjoy doing it. Today, my son and I had a bad day: he is the throes of the terrible 3's, and I was home alone with him and Trot for 7 hours. I wrote that while they took their nap: It helped me not be so aggravated with him after he got up. So thank you. And thanks for egging Josh on last night! Like he NEEDS any motivation!

John said...

Tex, a really moving post. I've never suffered such a tragic loss and I don't know how people like your sister and your family deal with such things.
I guess the faith they obviously have helps and I wonder where I would get that sort of strength without such faith.
Take care,
John (HorshamScouse)

Tex said...

Thanks Horsham for the kind words. I just know that my family doesn't take for granted our time anymore. I moved away the same year my nephew died but had my sister's blessing. I was in the middle of searching for my dream when it happened and was willing to forgo it while our family healed...soon realizing going for my dream was part of my healing process.

Soxcruiser said...

Tex, a loss is always difficult and especially when the person is so young with so much to live for and contribute. Your nephew has left a lasting impression on those he touched and maybe they will cherish life more because of his sacrifice. All the best to you and your family during this memorable anniversary. Hugs, Cruiser

Tex said...

Thanks Cruiser! Glad you found me!
My family will always grieve over our loss and perhaps with time it will lose its harsh sting but we will never forget him.

JET said...

Tex, such a beautifully written and moving post. I'm so sorry for your and your family's loss. We all have to make choices that put us in one place or another and cannot ever really prepare for what life will deal us. You love your family to the fullest, and they, and your nephew, all know that.

Tex said...

Thanks JET! The only thing you can do to prepare for such a loss is to spend your time wisely and not wish you had or not done something. That is what I do now.

JET said...

That's good advice Tex.

The analogy I always remember is that of our lives being like a train ride. And throughout our life, different people will get on and get off at different stations. But we never can know at which station anyone will get off. Including yourself. So we need to enjoy the ride and the passengers we have with us as much as possible.

I just feel so sad for you all to have experienced such a tragic loss of your nephew at such a young age. I'm truly sorry...

PS: See you have new post now. Another good one!

The Triumphant Red Sox Fan said...

{{{{ Tex }}}}

January 15 was also the day my grandmother died (a year earlier, though, and much older, when it's supposed to happen). It's also my sister-in-law's birthday. That juxtaposition always reminds me of the circle of life and how birth and death are part of the same cycle, even when death isn't natural or fair.

Tex said...

KellyJ!! You Finally Made it! :)

Thanks to you I am able to journal my writings in the 21st century! And can you believe it but I've helped another create their own blog. You should check out Ted's blog. He is SuperDAD and Hubby!

Losing someone is hard enough when they are just moving or breaking up...but losing someone and knowing you will not be able to spend time with every again...is quite another thing.

My grandfather passed away in January as well...I was only 16 but I was very close to him....I still miss him and visit his gravesite when I am at home.