FRIENDS

They come in and out of your lives…..for a reason. Some friends stay for a lifetime….also for a reason.

You have your childhood friends. These are friends who either you grow up with due to you live in the same neighborhood, attend the same school or church, or your families are friends. You form bonds, close bonds. You share everything with them, they know everything about you. Or they think they do. Then you grow up and go off to college or workforce. I had lots of friends in school, close friends who I thought would Always be there for me. The one friend I remained friend was my friend, Deb, who went to church with me but another school. Our mothers were friends before we were born and we all remain close even today. One story stands out that will explain why: We were raised in a church that shunned dancing. One of the local bars created a Teen Night where teens could dance alcohol free. So of course, I wanted to get in on the action cos I loved to dance. I went with my friends and while on the dance floor I looked across and saw Deb! We laughed abit and then promised not to say a word. To make a long story short, parents find out everything and my mother found out and I got grounded. Some parents find out everything but much later….so Deb is sitting eating breakfast at home before school when her mother asks her if she knew what I had done, ya know the “dancing” sin. My friend Deb looked right at her mom and said to her, “Well I was there too.” MY FRIEND, Deb stood up for me because she wanted her mom to know that I was not a bad person.

You make friends throughout your adult life from college, work or just through other people. I made a new friend in college, Pam. She was a school friend of Deb’s. She stood by me thick and thin with so many relationships and she loved my son as much as me. I introduced her to alcohol…although that’s not something to probably brag about. I reconnected about 5 years ago with an old high school friend who I was very close to, Rene. I have another friend who I met through work years back who lives near here. Don’t get me wrong I have a lot of friends here, but these are the people I know I can count on besides my family.

But that wasn’t enough, now we make friends on the internet from all across the nation, all ages and cultures. I have met so many people off a couple of Red Sox boards, some who I have gotten to know quite well, some I have gotten to be good friends with. Janet has become one of those who I've gotten close to. We have this agreement...what happens in Ft. Myers, stays in Ft. Myers. We used to have the same cell phone service but she's changed....I think I may have to change cell phone services or up my anytime minutes. It's funny how something as simple as baseball can bring two people together to become close friends.

We allow people into our lives. Some we let stay, some we don’t. Some stay for awhile. Whatever the time frames, friends are in our lives for reasons we may see and reasons we don’t. Because of the internet I have friends from California to Massachusetts, from Canada to New Zealand. Everyone needs Friends…..if you say you don’t, you’re lying.

Play Ball!!!!!!!!!!

I hate doctor's waiting rooms...mostly because strangers are staring at ya wondering why you are here, hmmmmmmmmmm. I hate virtual waiting rooms because the dang thing sits and goes hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I had to work Saturday morning so I could not get on early which meant I had to wait and wait and wait.... Finally I decided to forgo the Saturday, July 21st game I wanted with the White Sox (thanks to my new SG friend Kelly she scored us tickets for the Friday game) and got 2 tickets to the Wednesday game with the Kansas City Royals...of which I am going to the Monday night game too with my LaMotfer gang. SO I decided to not be greedy again. I have 3 games I'm attending while in Boston this year. Plus I am going to all 3 games of both series while the Boys are in Arlington, Texas. AND I am going to the 3 game series in San Diego this year!! (Yay another Park!!) A total of 12 games in all! I say it every year that I will cut down on my tickets but I don't. Well I had planned on it for Texas but when a friend offered up he and his gf's home for me to crash at and they'll go to the games with me...heck that's saving me money from hotel bills! I can't turn that down.

Tickets for the Texas games don't go on sale till March 2nd...Texas Independence Day when I am going to be in Florida at Spring Training!!!! Jeeeeeeeeez...how come they want to make it so hard for me??!! It's ok I got it covered...I got someone buying the Opening Day series tickets and I'm paying them later. I got People!!

I'll be going to a couple of Astros games as well this year as I always do...getting to see Loretta over there. Yah Baseball Season is near and I CANNOT WAIT! 162 Games of Die Hard Pleasure and Pain....You are welcome to join me. If you approach my front door and you hear screaming and yelling and cursing....no worries...the baseball game has already started...don't knock just come in and grab a seat!

Random Post

So I'm on the countdown of my upcoming Spring Training trip. Nothing else seems to matter at this point but flying into Ft. Myers on March 1st and meeting up with 3 of my friends there at the airport. Our agenda is filled with many important events that will take place....going to baseball games, drinking, getting autographs, drinking, getting my cast autographed, drinking, walking on the beach, drinking, going to the SFAC charity dinner and drinking, drinking, going to Mona Lisa's bar and drinking, drinking, oh and did I mention drinking? Of course I'm just joking around about the drinking so much. Many things to watch out for are: foul balls and thrown bats, drunks on the road, and panthers. We all hope for a Schilling sighting again this year at the dinner.

The group I am meeting are off another board whom were a part of my 1st "internet serial killer" group of friends. It is amazing how we all became such good friends over the internet. Of course, being me I don't hang with just one click so I have now made friends with some on the SG board as well and cannot wait to meet them this summer...well I will get to meet Kelly at Spring Training! And come to find out Kelly already knows Cyn of my other friends! Small world!

All I know is in one month I will be flying for a little R&R to watch the Boys begin the Season and I'll hopefully get to see Dice-K pitch in one of the first games as a Red Sox....and my mouth widens to a smile right this minute.

no philosophy or thoughts of wisdom tonight from Tex.....just good ole' random posting about something I love.

Red Sox Nation

If you would have told me 3 1/2 yrs ago that I would be planning annual vacations alone to Boston and spending any extra money I had in florida without seeing the beach, I would have told you HogWash! As I wrote on my original post last year, I fell in love with the Sox because of Roger....Because of a man who many in Boston loathe. So even though I was devastated when he left the team...I could not hate him. I couldnt hate the man who brought me to a place where I feel at peace...where I feel joy and laughter while watching them play. I can't hate him. On my first trip to Boston, I was with 3 other girls for a baseball trip. We went to games in Philly, New York and Boston. I have to say that when we got to Boston I was thrilled to be there. The day I walked into Fenway blew my mind. Walking up to the field seeing the diamond come into view.....then the Monster!!! I just stood there in awe.

From that day on I knew...I would be back again....and again. I met some great people each year but the oddest thing happens when you meet Red Sox fans: You become a part of a much bigger family than ever imagined, The Red Sox Nation. I have my own family who I love dearly. No one will replace them. They don't share the love I feel for the Sox....they tolerate it and even think its endearing. One of my niece's once asked me if my room was decorated like the show "Fever Pitch". I laughed and said, "of course not" (Well not my bedroom but shhhhh, what she doesn't know won't hurt her).

I begin meeting fans on line on the Red Sox message board and met many of them at Spring Training in 2005. The next thing I knew I was flying off to be at Opening Day just to celebrate with them, I didn't even have tickets! These people became friends off this board and were actually Friends! AND they wanted to be MY friends TOO!! They opened up their arms and welcomed me as a fan...never questioned my loyalty to the boys.....never doubted me. They opened their arms, their hearts, their homes, their pocketbooks...ok well maybe not their pocketbooks...BUT several of them gave me a bed to sleep in when I got into a jam. This Motley Crew or LaMotfers as we're called are dear to my heart. My friends here in Texas laugh at me saying that I'm going off with my serial killer internet friends. One of the girls and I have gotten to be pretty good friends and have used each other's homes for mini-vacations like for Austin City Music Festival (HEY I do like other things beside baseball), games at Anaheim and this year at San Diego! She's even coming in next month just to have fun...no baseball or music involved...well ok we will be going to see live music. I just can't believe how in a matter of a few years I have so many new friends all thanks to the internet and my passion for the Red Sox. This year our group is meeting for our 2nd annual July Gathering at the Game. 30 of us will gather and bring havoc upon Fenway....well maybe not havoc.

This year I started posting over at Surviving Grady at the coaxing of Soxonthebeach....and wouldn't you know it...this group is JUST as friendly and warm!! I will be going to games this year with a new group of friends I've yet to meet...you know who you are!!! I love this fan base and it's none like I've ever seen.

The Red Sox Nation reaches across our entire country....it may be transplants who've moved or it may be those like me....who for some reason or another became a Red Sox fan, scuse me....a die-hard Red Sox fan till they day they die.

Saying Good-bye

How do you tell someone good-bye? When you know you'll never see them again as they were... You think about the last time you saw them. about the last thing you saw them do. Remember their smile, their eyes...

We lost a great member of the 2004 World Champion Red Sox Team today....to the Indians...THE INDIANS!!! He endeared himself to the Red Sox Nation with his die-hard work ethics. He played harder than any other player I can think of on that team...and it showed because Trot Nixon's hat and uniform seemed to NEVER be clean. He reminded me of a little boy whose mother just put on his Sunday's best and he couldn't wait to get home to play and get dirty...even if it meant in his best clothes. Played his heart out with everything he had, with no regard to injuries, with no regard to anything BUT helping the boys win the game!!
Trot understood the team concept that many other athletes do not get. He understands what his job is and does it. Trot was also a family man as it showed when his determination to get home on 9-11-01 for his son's birth. I remember watching the last game Trot played...I was watching it on tv. I remember him turning to the crowd and making a grand gesture of good-bye like he knew...he knew that this was his last at-bat. So that is my good-bye to Trot...

But that is baseball and not real life...how do you tell someone good-bye who you'll never see again because life cheated them. But you didn't know that it was the last time. Today was 5 years my 11 yr old nephew Dustin was killed in a snow skiiing accident. He was a little boy but a mature man inside. He got dirty as dirty could get....found all dirt holes anywhere within 10 miles of the house. He loved to fish and play all day. But he was unique in the sense he stood for what was right and insisted his friends did too or they would be history. My last visit with him was short and sweet. I wish I could go back and talk to him. I would tell him how much I love him and what he means to me...but I cannot.

How do you tell someone good-bye when you know you'll never see them again? You live your life so that they'll be proud to meet you when you go.

Winter Storms

I guess most of you have seen the winter blast blown in from the North Pole across the Nation. I was going to post some pictures from around Austin, however, due to this little thing copyright laws, I couldn't copy and paste them here. Ooooops!
Having an entire city and almost county be a standstill for almost 3 or 4 days because of some ice on the road must sound absurd to anyone in the New England area. I mean they shut down most government offices, even the Mail didn't run!!
But they had the Governor's Inauguration and Ball....don't get me started.

Trying to take advantage of the time cooped up in the house, I used some of it wisely. However, working two jobs with one of them involving so much traveling and a high stress job made me stop and think. I mean I am not lazy at all, but I started realizing I needed time to decompress. So even though I have this really big project I needed to do....I wasted my last 2 days surfing, posting, watching the tube, cooking, sleeping, chatting, and anything else that would keep me from working on the project.

Now after getting the much deserved rest I so needed, I am ready to conquer this project. I've learned if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anything else in your life.

I was thinking sometimes our lives get frozen for a bit...perhaps for a reason. Maybe we don't realize we need a change, a break... just long enough to see clear, through the hardness of life. Sometimes it comes from a winter storm....sometimes it comes from a life storm....but be very aware that it will come....be ready to thaw.

I Have a Dream

Today we celebrate not mourn Martin Luther King, Jr. I said celebrate! For because of him, we all can dream. I've included a couple of excerpts from his famous speech:

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I was a young child when this speech was given and lived in a small rural town. It wasn't that my parents were prejudice. It was just the fact that certain races only lived in certain parts of the city so we didn't ever have contact. But then my father moved us to Jamaica while he was working on a construction job. Moving to an unknown country with a different culture, different lifestyle, government, people.... We lived in the middle of a small city called Mandeville. My sister and I attended the catholic jamaican school...we weren't catholic. There was a local church of which many of the Americans attended but NO....my parents were faithful to their religion and found a church of our faith...where we were the only white family. I remember walking into that church for the first time....dirt floors and stares at us. But we were welcomed with open arms...I loved that church! I made so many friends at school and even ran track...placed 3rd in a race once!!

Imagine my surprise when letters began arriving to me from friends in the states about my hometown schools integrating....I laughed. They spoke of problems and fights. I had none here. As much as I hated my dad for taking me away from my friends at that time if my life, I am so thankful for it today. I experienced what is was like to be new to a school and country so when I returned, I jumped right in making friends. There were a couple of the african american girls who didn't like me...I guess cos I was talking to the guys. But a couple of the other girls stepped up and took up for me and that was that.

When I was in my last semester of college and having to take a speech class, I used King's speech to talk about reaching dreams and goals. My dream and goal was to graduate college and to be the first in my entire family to do so....I did it. So many take for granted things handed to us. I think you appreciate it more when you have to work for it. I think King wanted the african american people to DREAM so they could work for it.

A dream is a dream until you put it into motion....

What dream do you have that you are waiting on?

Cleaning out the Past...

So I decided to do the post I was going to do for New Years but was derailed.

Spring Cleaning: You're supposed to do spring cleaning in the spring right? But why wait till spring? Plus why would I want to stay inside during the spring and clean, especially during baseball season! So I call spring cleaning: New Year Clean UP.

It goes quite nicely with New Year's Resolutions because while you're thinking of what you want to do better or differently, clearing out things you want to rid your closets or house of helps you realize what you need to rid your life of.

We allow or bring people or things into our lives that are not healthy or good for us emotionally. We don't mean to, it just happens. Yah I know you can't rid your life of family for those who are quietly thinking of that family member who rubs you wrong. And if you're not the Boss you can't fire your lazy ass coworker. So what to do...what to do?

First, the healthy stuff:
I've been slowly making changes this past year so this one is not so hard for me, with the exception of drinking my dark beer. (I bought some Michelob Ultra Amber) I'm learning that eating healthy can taste good. It CAN!

Next is Exercise, the 8 letter word that should be a 4 letter word: You've heard the phrase: you snooze you lose. Well if you don't use your muscles, you'll lose them...well they'll just go flabby. You don't have to join a gym to exercise...just get some tennis shoes on and go walk. You don't have to powerwalk...just WALK. Add some light weights or exercise bands and you can keep your upper body strength in shape for years to come.

NOW for the real Clean UP
Getting rid of those people or things in your life that you know are holding you back. You know what they are and who they are. Limit your time around them. Stay away from those negative people. I think that's what I was doing when I moved to Austin. I was in this relationship that wasn't horrible, it just wasn't good for me and my true happiness. In fact, I had settled for mediocre. And that my friend is something No One should do. At my old job in my hometown, one of my coworkers realized that I was settling and one day as I was preparing to move to Austin and talking about leaving and my ex...he said to me "XXXX(calling me by my last name), Never Settle, in life or in love" I sat there KNOWING what he meant...and wanting to live that...I smiled and said "I won't". Upon getting settled into my new cubicle in Austin, I wrote on a Post-it "Never Settle" and stuck it to my computer. It remains there today.

So today...as I cleaned house I cleaned the house of Tex...again. Cleansing is good for the soul they say. It also helps you to smell better.

One More Day...

So if you could pick one more day to re-live again, which day would it be? Would it be the day you got married? Or the day your first child was born? The day you fell in love with your significant other? Would you pick October 27, 2004? Would you pick a day? Or are you happy enough to not want to go back?

I can think of several days I would choose so that I enjoy those joyous feelings again. But the day I think I would choose even over those would be the Wednesday before my nephew was killed. It was January 15th, 2002. My sister's family was to leave early Thursday morning on a flight to Colorado for a church snow skiing trip. My life was on hold at that moment as I had just broke off a 4 yr relationship and moved back home to my parents at age 43. I was going to Austin for a job interview that week. I was supposed to drop by my sister's house to visit with them before they left but an old boyfriend called so I decided to go meet him instead. That old boyfriend ended up being a jerk like he was before.

Sunday while spending the weekend with a friend in Austin, I received a message on my cellphone from one of the local police departments from my hometown to call home. A message I will remember forever. Calling home I received the news that my nephew had been killed in a snow skiiing incident the afternoon before. My sister, her husband and oldest daughter were on their way home. I packed quickly and left. I don't recall the trip home although I drove through Houston.

The next week was long. Dustin was a unique kid. He had already separated himself from others as being an individual. He sought to know God's heart. Dustin sought to do the right thing and encouraged his friends to do the right thing as well. His funeral was attended by hundreds at our home church. Dustin touched the lives of so many. Dustin was my nephew and he was 11 years old but in those short 11 years he lived a life many an adult would be jealous of.

I imagine January 15th many times in my mind; what I would do if I could go back, but I can't. So I move forward and live my life with love, vigor and zest. I live my life with my family. I live my life so that I don't have to wish I could have one more day back.